Mother, Public Defender
by Danielle Hamilton-Slate, Capital Public Defender
When I was asked to write about being a mother and a public defender many thoughts crossed my mind. I could write about how grateful I am that this job provides me with enough flexibility to be there for my daughter’s Thanksgiving feasts and after-school art shows; or how fantastic my colleagues are for making an effort to talk to and play with my daughter when I’ve had to drag her into the office with me. I could write about how difficult it is to work cases with child victims, especially when the child involved is the same age as my own. All of these things are true and worthy of being written about, but I ultimately decided to get a bit more personal. The most significant thing to me about being a mother and a public defender is that my job gives me a platform to talk to my daughter about some of my deepest held values.
When she was younger and would tell me about a show she watched or a game she played at recess in which there were “bad guys,” I would pause the conversation and talk to my daughter about the fact that most people who make bad decisions aren’t bad people, we all make bad decisions sometimes. I would talk to her about my clients, about the struggles they faced that caused them to act a certain way in a certain situation. And about their families that loved them and that they loved. About the good in them mixed in with the bad. We would talk about empathy and understanding.
As my daughter has grown, our conversations have too. Recently, I was talking to her about a trial I won and how important it was to me that my client was found not guilty because he was innocent and I felt it was wrong that the State had prosecuted him—subjecting him to pain and trauma on top of pain and trauma. She understood and then asked the question that everyone wants to know: But what about the guilty clients? It is a seemingly basic question with complex answers. That day, the question was a jumping off point to talk about inequality, flaws in the criminal legal system, and the importance of treating everyone with dignity and respect.
This is a job that I do not for the pay, prestige, or praise, but because I believe that I have a responsibility to other people, to use my time and my talents to make life a bit better for people that were not given the same advantages I was. I do this job because I see the world in shades of gray and believe that no one is just their worst moments. I do this job because we live in a broken world with broken systems and I want to play some very small part in fixing them. And, I do this job because I want to pass these values on to my daughter. It is my hope that as she sees the effort and care I put into my job and that as we talk about why I do this work, she internalizes these values and they become guiding principles for her as well.